I write sins, not tragedies
by Great Homicidal Walrus Fairy
Summary: Total crack that's full of spoiling for the recent chapters of Naruto...Like...starting around 280...ish. It's SasuNaru and onesided SaiNaru. Let's just say...Sasuke and Naruto need to close the door. Based on the song by Panic! At the Disco.


So...Yeah. I don't own Naruto. Or the song that inspired this, 'I write sins, not tragedies' by Panic! At the Disco. I also don't own anything else, in case I forgot it in here...;

But seriously, this is TOTAL CRACK. It has lots of spoilers in it, and some potty mouthing. It's a Sasunaru, even though they're totally not all up ons anymore, and it has one-sided SaiNaru in there somewhere...

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Team Kakashi was doing a random mission for some reason. Sai, Sakura, and Naruto were supposed to be working on something or other, but Naruto asked to be excused (Not quite so eloquently) because he needed to use the restroom. Very bluh-gah-ish, Sakura and Sai were all like "...Sure."

As Naruto entered his hotel room, he saw Sasuke standing at the window.

"Whoa," Naruto said, awestruck. For you see, Sasuke was half naked, but all bitch.

Sasuke turned slowly around. Making a sex kitten face, he said, "Naruto, I can only stay for a bit. I want...to do the No Pants Dance with you."

Naruto put his hand on his chin and made his 'I'm thinking, STFU' face, which wasn't very effective, seeing as how he wasn't very good at thinking in the first place. "The No Pants Dance, you say? Well...why not."

So then, they started to be all up ons each other. They kinda fell onto the closest thing besides the floor, which was Sai's bed. Sasuke didn't know that it was his, but hey, he don't know nuttin'.

Interrupting the awkward face sucking, Naruto began to speaketh. "Sasuke, don't you think that we should..." But before he could finish, Sasuke was sucking his face again.

"Naruto, the only thing that I'm thinking about right now is you and me being all naked and lovey-dovey on this here bed," Sasuke said panting when he finally done with whatever he was doing to Naruto. It was probably weird, because he had only kissed Orochimaru, and his tongue is like, seven days long.

"Yeah, okay," Naruto smiled. He went along with the weird kisses. You know, for Sasuke.

Sakura and Sai were still standing around doing nothing when Sakura broke the beautiful and fun silence that was all out of sorts.

"Sai, will you go and check on Naruto? He's been ------- (using the restroom, for decency) for a really long time now."

Sai shrugged and went off on his way to check up on his kinda team-mate, but definite crush. As he got closer to the room that he shared with Naruto, he hears several loud and guttural moans, and Naruto MIGHT have made one of them, but he thought it was mostly some other guy that sounded like that guy that Naruto was all like, yeah, with.

Upon getting even CLOSER (whoa), he saw Naruto and THAT MAN doing the No Pants Dance on HIS bed through the door that was WIDE open.

At that point, Sai lost his temper.

"DAMMIT! Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door! And for fuck's sake, get on your own bed, Naruto!" He grabbed the door handle and slammed it. Sasuke and Naruto were all like 'WTF?' as they listened to Sai stomp off, talking to himself about wanting to do the No Pants Dance with Naruto.

"I tried to tell you that we should close the door and get off of Sai's bed," Naruto smirked.

Ashamed of himself, Sasuke got all up off of Naruto and said a dejected 'shut up.'

I don't know what happened after that, but they probably moved over to Naruto's bed and had some crappy, inexperienced buttsecks.

When Sai came stomping back toward Sakura with a huge frumpy frown on his face, Sakura knew Naruto was stupid, but amazingly adorable.

"What happened, Sai? Do I need to get my camera?"

"Shut up." He said angrily. After a few more seconds, he finally said, "...Yes. Yes you do."

And oh, she did. And then she sold the pictures to a yaoi porn site on the internet and became a trillionaire!

**TEH END!11!1

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Yes, I had to leave in the lovely 'TEH END!11!1' for authenticity. But seriously, wasn't it totally insane? That's what happens when I can't sleep and I listen to Panic! At the Disco for more than ten seconds. Hee hee... Review it! Please? Pretty please with a naked Sasuke on top?


End file.
